Rebuilding Confidence After Bankruptcy

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Episode Summary
In this powerful episode, Louisa Larado dives deep into the emotional and psychological impacts of bankruptcy and shares effective strategies to start rebuilding your financial confidence. Through her personal journey and professional insights, Louisa offers practical steps to help you regain trust in yourself and your ability to handle money.

Key Points Discussed

1. Louisa opens up about the stress, worry, and loss of confidence that often accompanies bankruptcy. 
2.  The early stages of financial recovery are filled with fear and cautiousness, as Louisa recounts her sleepless nights and disagreements with her husband about their financial future.
3. Louisa discusses the overwhelming nature of rebuilding from bankruptcy and highlights the importance of setting clear financial goals and stepping past the guilt and shame associated with financial failure.
4. Louisa underscores the limits of relying on a single investment strategy and the need to explore multiple avenues for financial growth. 
5. The impact of financial stress on an individual's well-being and their family is profound. Louisa shares techniques for handling these emotional challenges and rebuilding a positive money mindset.
6. By recognizing the cycle of stress and fear, Louisa explains how shifting one's mindset can pave the way for better financial management and stability.
7. Louisa shares her journey toward creating a more empowering narrative around money, aiming to be a better role model for her children.
8. Louisa provides actionable steps to help listeners rebuild their confidence and regain control over their finances, fostering a healthier and more empowered money mindset.
   
   

 Actionable Takeaways

**Expand Your Financial Education:** Don't rely on a single strategy. Educate yourself on various financial management techniques to diversify your approach.

**Address Emotional and Psychological Effects:** Recognize the emotional impact of financial stress and take steps to heal and build a positive mindset.

 **Set Clear and Achievable Goals:** Create detailed financial goals that allow you to track progress and stay motivated.

**Communicate and Collaborate:** Work together with your partner to align on financial strategies and reduce stress and disagreements.

Find out more about my next workshop Thriving Together: A 1/2 Retreat for Mums and Teen Daughters by clicking here

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Disclaimer: The information contained on today’s podcast has been provided as general advice only. The contents have been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or individual needs. Before making any decision regarding the information, strategies or products mentioned on today’s episode, please consult your own financial advisor or other professional first.

Transcript

Rebuilding Your Confidence After Bankruptcy

Louisa Larado (00:00)

Welcome to the Bankruptcy to Bliss podcast. I'm your host, Louisa Larado. And today I want to talk about how you can start looking at rebuilding your confidence when you faced bankruptcy. Now there's a lot of stress and worry and all these negative feelings that mean your confidence takes a massive hit during your bankruptcy.

So I want to give you some simple steps and techniques to help you get that back on track.

Louisa Larado (01:18)

So what I wanted to start off with is telling you that when you go through something such as a bankruptcy, it's a really hard and difficult experience. And a lot of people don't actually know what it feels like unless you've been through it yourself. So there's a lot of shame and a lot of people that aren't very open about talking about bankruptcy, which makes you feel really alone. And I remember when I went bankrupt, 

my husband and I both made the decision after a few bad investment choices that bankruptcy was going to be the best way forward for our family. was either that or not being able to feed our families. And so we chose that bankruptcy was going to be the best option for us after doing our own research. And what we found out though, when we first went bankrupt is that it was a very unique experience. We couldn't just talk to our friends about it and

expect them to understand what we'd gone through was something we sort of had to figure out for ourselves. And it wasn't something that was openly spoken about, even for those people who had been bankrupt, which I found out I did know a few people that had gone bankrupt, but it wasn't something they openly told us before. So when you do go through bankruptcy, it's really, really common that,

Afterwards, your confidence takes a big hit because you've experienced losing your money basically and having to start over again. So then when you do start creating money back in your life, it's really difficult, I found, to maintain that faith and the trust in myself to be able to continue to manage that money. Because what happens is you sort of

feel yourself in that constant fear of losing money. Now, I remember the lead up to our bankruptcy. It was the most stressful time of our lives for both my husband and me. I just remember like weeks and weeks of sleepless nights where we could only think about how we were gonna get out of this situation and nothing else. And you know, that sleep deprivation led to a lot of arguments and disagreements and just that.

uncertainty of what was going to be next for us. And even after we started rebuilding from our bankruptcy, we still struggled in the beginning stages of agreeing the best way forward to use our money. I was really worried that we were going to do something silly. was really overly cautious with our finances in the beginning. And all this led to was a lot of

disconnect, I guess, with my husband and myself and disagreements and arguments. And it just wasn't a pleasant when two people are not on the same page over it. Now, the other thing that I remember experiencing was just that feeling of overwhelm initially. How do you move forward from this? You know, prior to our bankruptcy, my husband and I had been quite successful financially.

for a number of years and then it was just these few decisions and things that had happened that had led us to everything sort of crumbling for us. And when that happens, just don't know what to do. You just don't know what's gonna be right for you and your family. Now we had two young kids at the time, so we were thinking how...

How are we going to be able to provide for our family and in a way that works for us where we don't have to both spend every waking hour working that we can still be there for our family and be okay financially? Because before we went bankrupt, we were toying with the idea of different work options just to be able to try and keep our heads above water. And even that was going to be, you know, 30, 40 years down the track of hard work to

get to that bit of financial ease on the other side. And we didn't really want to take that option. So that's why we decided bankruptcy was going to work for our family. But it was, like I say, that overwhelming feeling. What's next now? Now we've gone bankrupt, we've lost our house, we have to figure out accommodation. We had to figure out just what we were going to do next. What was our next steps and how do we start rebuilding? And there was so much.

So much information out there and there's different people advising you to do different things and it just becomes really overwhelming. And also there was that, shame that's associated with bankruptcy. It's something that before I went bankrupt, it was not something I'd ever openly spoken to anyone about before. I didn't even really understand what it was because it wasn't something that I'd heard about in conversation.

Even though I found out I did have a friend that had been bankrupt and I've met a few people since then that weren't ever willing to openly discuss that. also, you know, you've got the guilt as well. So I was the one in charge of the finances in my house. So I had a lot of guilt that I was holding on to. don't know if you feel that too, if you've gone through this setback. But if I was the one managing my family's money and all of a sudden it wasn't working for us.

then what was gonna be the best way forward for us and how do I get my confidence back when I don't feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing in terms of providing my family financial stability. So you might be experiencing some of these too if you've gone through this. And the reason that I realized when I started looking back as to why am I feeling these things because I'm still.

working from this place of that constant fear of losing money, the stress and the arguments and feeling overwhelmed, feeling guilty and feeling all that shame. How do I move forward from this? So, I mean, the main reasons I found out when I started thinking I need to make a change, because this way of living is just not serving me and it's not getting me forward and it's not getting me to where I next wanna be with my financial goals.

I realized what I was lacking. So the first thing I was lacking was financial education. Like I knew enough to get me to the point I was, but there was so much more I needed to learn about my financial education. The other thing that got me there was just trusting in one investment strategy that we had to build our wealth in the beginning, but just didn't work. So then I had to learn about, okay, well, what other ways can we use to

manage and grow our money instead. Then I also had to look at the emotional and psychological impact that that financial stress has taken, not just on me, but on my whole family. It was a really big thing that's happened. So of course you're going to feel that emotionally and psychologically as well. So it takes a bit of work in those areas to sort of get back on track as well.

And then it was also dealing with that stigma of bankruptcy is you're a financial failure that we had to face up to. So these are the things I realized I needed to start working on and I needed to start shifting to get ahead and to get to the goals that I want to set for myself or my family and my husband and I wanted to work towards. If we were still living in stress and worry and fear.

and guilt, then we're not going to get there. So some work had to be done. Now, what I pictured and what I can imagine a lot of you out there also pictures just having that financial stability for my family, for myself to be able to not just, you know, stress myself out working nonstop just to try and get by, getting by week to week. I want more than that. I want to be able to have a bit more financial stability. I wanna be able to still enjoy.

our lives. I still want to be able to go on holidays and you know, go out, eat out with my family and do all the fun things, not just work and just scrape by. I also wanted to I wanted to reduce that stress level in our household. So it went from this high, high stress area leading up to our bankruptcy and a little bit beyond, then thinking, okay, well now we've gone over this hurdle. We need to now work on that.

And the impact that that has on my family as well, I found. things like, my default saying just after we'd finished our bankruptcy was, no, we can't afford that. So I found myself constantly saying this. And it wasn't until...

I caught my kids saying it back to me if they wanted something, they're like, no, don't worry, we can't afford that. Then I'm like, gosh, my belief is rubbed off on them now. And I didn't want that for them. didn't want them taking into their adult life, those limiting beliefs that money is limited and it's a scarce resource and there's a lot of stress and worry surrounding by money. Now, the other thing I wanted for myself and to be a role model, I guess for my kids was to have that confidence again to

not only manage my money, but then watch it grow and provide for the family as well. And that was something my husband and I both worked on together. And also, I'm sure that a lot of you also want to have that empowered money mindset. So they're the things, you know, that we really want to be experiencing with our finances. Now, what

Most people do though that I found out on what we started to initially was keep doing the same thing that we were doing before. And because that just felt normal, that was like my go to thing. And this is, know, how we've always managed money. So this is how we still will. But then I realized if we're doing the same thing, we're only going to keep getting the same results again. It's not going to take us to where we want to be going. So I realized instead I need to start

stepping out of my comfort zone a little bit, I need to start taking some actions that are gonna get me there. And that might be educating myself, getting a bit more financially literate in the areas that I felt like I was lacking. It might be learning some new skills. So I started doing all these things, but it wasn't until I realized the real missing piece that most people miss. So, you know, if you're rebuilding from a bankruptcy or a financial setback, then...

You think, okay, well, I need to start maybe budgeting or I need to start managing my money better. And that's that's going to get you a little part of the way, but it's not until you actually start working on your mindset and changing that, that you'll notice things actually starting to change in your life. If you're staying in that fixed mindset where you're still a bit worried and stressed and everything that you're know, you're sticking to maybe a tight budget.

or you're just trying to bury your head in the sand and not even worry about your finances because you don't want to think about them or you think I'm really bad with money now. I can't deal with it. By working on your mindset, that's when all the pieces start to fall into place and that's when you start to rebuild your confidence as well. So this is a key factor. you know, it's like if you're rebuilding a house. If you start building a house from the roof,

and you don't put the foundation first, it's just gonna crumble. And that's what I started doing first. I started putting all these new earning strategies, money managing strategies in place, I redid my budgets, I did all this. We were still living paycheck to paycheck, I just couldn't work this out. And it wasn't until the penny finally dropped and I did some work around my mindset that everything fell into place for me.

So that was the starting point for me, but it didn't just happen overnight. The key was just to start small. So starting with some little small actions first and starting small is what helps you re -budget confidence. So let's say I wanted to start by thinking I would like to put an extra $50 in my savings account each month. So it's a small goal to start off with.

then once I reach this goal, I've got that confidence that I can do it and it helps me build my confidence to then extend that goal a little bit further each time. So starting small was a really good way to build your confidence because then you'll find success and you find success early and easily and you say, actually I can do this stuff. So that's a really good thing to focus on as well.

Louisa Larado (13:49)

if this is something that you really want to learn a bit more about, you want to find out a bit more about, then I'm really excited to announce that in a couple of weeks I'll be releasing my Bankruptcy Breakthrough Blueprint. And this is a product I've been working on for a number of months now just to help give those people who've experienced bankruptcy or any financial setbacks just some extra guidance, extra support.

And I will teach you the exact lessons and the exact steps and the exact strategies and tools that I used to get to where I wanted to be financially. And this is your fast track way to do that. And it's going to help you in a supportive way. So it's not something you've got to do this on your own. This is a faster way to get that financial success and to help rebuild your confidence after a bankruptcy.

if this is something you're interested in finding out more about, you can head to the link below where you will find the link to the waitlist. So you'll find out as soon as this is released.

Louisa Larado (14:51)

So just a few final takeaways before I leave you. So just remember that you don't have to stay in that fear, stress, worry, shame, guilt, or whatever negative feelings you're feeling right now if you've gone through a bankruptcy or a big financial setback. This is not the end. This is just the beginning and it doesn't have to be like this. You can easily move towards the goals that you want.

by taking one small step at a time. And each of these small steps is going to help rebuild your confidence more and more until you feel really good about your finances again. And the key here with everything is to work on your mindset and then you'll notice all the other pieces starting to flow into place.

Louisa Larado (15:42)

Thank so much for joining me for today's episode. So if you want to learn more about the Bankruptcy Breakthrough Blueprint, just head down to the link in the show notes and you can join the waitlist and you'll be the first to know when that is released. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and I'll see you on the next one. Thanks for listening.